So every once in a while me and my friend go bike riding. My bike is terrible cause the wheels are ridiculously flat. I need new wheels but I haven't gotten around to getting them. Whenever I use the bike, it's really hard cause the wheels are so flat. Today we went biking and of course I had a really hard time using the bike. When I got home, I was pouring out sweat, red faced, somewhat dizzy, and I felt like I was about to pass out. I felt so out of shape, which I'm somewhat am. I have a bit of a muffin top and it makes me feel so fat. I feel like I shouldn't have stretch marks on my leg at the age of 16. I always tell people it doesn't bother me even though it does. I know every other girl in the world might say the same exact thing. So today after my bike ride, I ran on the treadmill to try to make my self feel a bit better. I wasn't too tired but I still stopped after ten minutes. I just didn't have the motivation to do it. I didn't have the push that would make run for an hour. I might try to workout more, but I don't know. I just don't have the push to get off my lazy butt and move a little.  

My first boy.

So I been dating my first boyfriend for about a month now and I been figuring out what it really means to like someone in that way and what being in a relationship consists of. This is all a new experience for me and I thought I would have it all figured out. I thought I knew exactly how run a healthy relationship and how to work all the ropes. Well, turns out I really don't. Being the girl you always wait for the guy to make the first move. You wait him to hold your hand. You wait for him to give you your first kiss. You never even think about being the one to offer your hand. You just wait for him to do it. But when the guy doesn't start, what are you supposed to do? Just stand there like a dimwit? I always wait for him to take my hand and pull me in for a kiss. But it doesn't always happen like I want it to. Don't take me wrong, he does do stuff like that. Every time he holds my hand, my insides are fluttering with excitement as my outside tries to look calm and collected. Every time he hugs me from behind, I have enough happiness and energy to do dance around my living room for a couple lifetimes. Every time he kisses me, I just want to- wait. But we haven't kissed yet. I kind of want to but he just doesn't know it. And I don't want to be the one to tell him. In fact, I want to just hold his hand more than we do already. I feel like we're trying to slowly moving out of the friend zone and into a relationship. Slowly. I just want him to know this. Without me telling him. I guess we'll just move at the rate we're at now and wait to see if it speeds up a bit. We'll just see. 

First Post!

So I started a blog forever ago and I never used it. I told people about it and I realized that I didn't want people reading what I had to say. I wanted it to basically be like a diary where I could express my anger, sadness, and excitement to myself. Somewhere where I'm not judged for what I'm saying and where I don't feel like I have to watch what I say.  So anyone who wanders over this can read on, but this is basically for me, not for others to hear what I have to say.